April 24th, 2013, by Rob

Scary Movie 5

Scary Movie 5 is a 2013 American comedy film and the fifth film in the Scary Movie franchise. It is being distributed by Dimension Films, a division of The Weinstein Company. The film is directed by Malcolm D. Lee and written by David Zucker.

Scary Movie 5 is the first installment of the franchise not to feature Cindy Campbell (played by Anna Faris) or Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall). It premiered on April 11, at the Hollywood’s ArcLight Cinerama Dome. The film parodies various horror films and other popular culture such as the novel Fifty Shades of Grey and Tyler Perry’s character Madea.




Movie2k Free Movies To Watch – Scary Movie 5 – Plot

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan get together to make a sex tape with over 20 cameras beside Charlie’s bed. They get done with the very strange gymnastic, horse, and clown filled tape and Charlie is pulled into the air by a paranormal force and whacked into the walls, shelves, and doors until he lands on the bed again. Lindsay is frightened so she decides to go home when she flies into the air as well and screams “I’m going to blow you across the room”. Charlie replies “sounds awesome” and she throws him into the camera killing him. Text explains that Charlie’s body was found that day but he didn’t stop partying till days later, his three kids were profound missing, Lindsay Lohan was forced to be arrested again for the murder of Charlie sheen, and an award was out for anyone who finds the missing children.

Charlie’s three kids are reported missing and a reward is announced for their safe return. Several months later, Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller are in the Humboldt County woods in search of illegally-grown cannabis plants to steal. After stealing one and fleeing, they take shelter in a cabin in the woods.

Upon entering they see three strange creatures, later confirmed to be Charlie’s kids, and turn them in for the reward. The feral children are placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial custody. When Charlie’s brother, Dan Sanders and his wife Jody come to collect them, they are told they can have them if they agree to stay in a large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. Jody is reluctant to take the kids at first but soon adjusts to having them. In an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet performance, Swan Lake, and is cast in the lead role as the Swan Queen.

Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn from the children that the attacks on their home are by “Mama”, the mother of the children, who is under a curse and is trying to get them back so she can sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria, the couple’s Hispanic live-in maid, is frightened and keeps experimenting with various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil spirits in the house. During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research facility; ironically, Dan is not bright enough to realize that one of the chimpanzees, Caesar, is now actually much smarter than him.

Jody and Dan, with the help of Jody’s close friend Kendra, must quickly find a way to lift the curse and save their family. Along the way, they seek the assistance of psychic Blaine Fulda, who turns out to be a complete fraud, and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb, who helps them understand that the solution to their problems lies in the mysterious Book of the Dead. However, Jody and Kendra fail to see what the book is capable of, oblivious to five friends continuously becoming possessed and reviving in the cabin. They wreck havoc happens when either of the two read the two passages of the book; one that unleashes a demons and the other that revives them from possession. When “Mama” takes the children to a cliff to sacrifice them, Jody fails to lift the curse with the book, but does manage to knock the evil spirit into Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller’s pool containing a live shark, which then devours her.

Realizing the love for her adopted children is all she needs in life, Jody gives the part of the Swan Queen to Kendra, who performs the dance in the style to that of a stripper. The performance is heavily applauded by an audience that includes Jody, Dan, the children, Caesar, and Madea.

Surprisingly scary movie 5 had a post credit scene in which Charlie sheen wakes up with don Kolb beside him. They just had gotten done giving Charlie a dream extraction(which the dream was the whole movie) in which Charlie explains involved demons, apes, and even dancing. Kolb answers well the good news is Lindsay Lohan will be coming to sleep with you tonight. Charlie walks over to the window and says terrific when he sees large amounts of lights shining threw the window. So he looks out and a car bursts threw the window and hits Charlie who flies into the wall. Lindsay Lohan gets out of the car, looks at Charlie and says to Kolb you were driving and throws him the keys blaming the accident on him. Then the movie ends.




Movie2k Free Movies To Watch – Scary Movie 5 – Cast

Ashley Tisdale as Jody Sanders
Simon Rex as Dan Sanders
Erica Ash as Kendra Brooks
Ben Cornish as Dom Kolb
Darrell Hammond as Dr. Hall
Jerry O’Connell as Christian Grey
J.P. Manoux as Pierre
Molly Shannon as Heather Darcy
Sarah Hyland as Mia
Katrina Bowden as Natalie
Bow Wow as Eric
Heather Locklear as Barbara Sanders
Jasmine Guy as Mrs. Brooks
Lil Duval as Brooks
Katt Williams as Blaine Fulda
Terry Crews as Martin
Kate Walsh
Tyler Posey as Peter
Lewis Thompson as Mabel “Madea” Simmons
Usher as Ira (The Janitor)
Audrina Patridge as Christian Greys Slave (scene cut)
Kendra Wilkinson as Christian Greys Slave (scene cut)

As themselves

Charlie Sheen
Lindsay Lohan
Snoop Dogg
Mike Tyson
Mac Miller
Sheree Whitfield
Big Ang

Movie2k Free Movies To Watch – Scary Movie 5 – Parodies

Paranormal Activity
Black Swan
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Fifty Shades of Grey
Evil Dead
The Cabin in the Woods

Movie2k Free Movies To Watch – Scary Movie 5 – Reception

Scary Movie 5 – Critical response

Scary Movie 5 was not screened for critics in advance, and was universally panned. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a score of 5% based on 42 reviews, with an average rating of 1.9/10. The site’s consensus states: “Juvenile even by Scary Movie standards, this fifth installment offers stale pop culture gags that generate few laughs.” Another review aggregation website Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 top reviews from mainstream critics, calculated a score of 11%, signifying “overwhelming dislike”.

IGN gave the movie a 1.0 out of 10. Stephanie Merry of The Washington Post gave the film zero stars saying, “The movie is so appalling that even a film fan who guffawed her way through “The Aristocrats” would feel nothing but a deep emptiness as the end credits begin to roll, wondering if one solid joke was too much to ask from a movie that bills itself as comedy.” Kyle Smith of the New York Post gave the film one star saying, “Down at the bottom of the comedy barrel, where the slimy gray algae-like stuff lives: That’s where this script came from. If you must go to Scary Movie 5, be sure to bring an iPad with you. That way you can watch a better movie on it.”





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